About Knits and Ass

I’m a terrible knitter but want to get better. It’s an excellent stress reliever and has cut down on my wine and vodka consumption by at least a teaspoon a day. This is a record of my (hopeful) progress.

I live in San Francisco at the moment, but am planning my return to New York, where I lived for many years.happypuppy I have a supremely talented playwright husband, a very snuggly 90-pound labrador, a weekend house in upstate New York, and a yarn festish.

Regarding Boat Drinks, if you’re so inclined, they are drinks that you have on a boat. They are tiki bar drinks, they sometimes have umbrellas in them. They are drinks you dream about when it’s winter. It’s what you have on vacation. They are typically rum-based, and usually include fruits. The main reference point is Jimmy Buffett; my parents have had a condo in the Florida Keys since I was a teenager, and Boat Drinks are a big part of living in the Keys (as are fishing, key lime pie, gulf pinks (shrimp), conch, tax evasion, and skin cancer). The other reference, of course, is Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead– where “Boat Drinks” are a secret handshake, a promise, and a hope. It’s not a great movie, but I can’t help adoring it. Boat Drinks calls up Trader Vic’s and Don the Beachcomber. When you’re in the middle keys, you’re probably at the Hurricane, or the Dockside, or in walking distance from our house, Cabana Breezes (where you can also get Thanksgiving dinner). If you’re full of liquid courage, you’ll go to the Brass Monkey, yes, in the parking lot of the K-mart. In New York, it’s Otto’s Shrunken Head on 14th and A in the east village, and in San Francisco it’s Smuggler’s Cove and the Tonga Room.

Boat drinks
Boys in the band ordered boat drinks
Visitors scored on the home rink
Everything seems to be wrong

Lately, newspaper mentioned cheap air fare
I gotta to fly to saint somewhere
I’m close to bodily harm

Twenty degrees and the hockey games on
Nobody cares they are way too far gone
Screamin boat drinks, something to keep em all warm

This mornin, I shot six holes in my freezer
I think I got cabin fever
Somebody sound the alarm

I’d like to go where the pace of lifes slow
Could you beam me somewhere mr. scott?
Any ol place here on earth or in space
You pick the century and I’ll pick the spot

Oh I know, (I know)
I should be leaving this climate
I got a verse but can’t rhyme it
I gotta go where it’s warm

Boat drinks
Waitress I need two more boat drinks
Then I’m headin south fore my dream shrinks

Regarding Knits and Ass, I just thought it was a funny blog title.

catching fish


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